Communication should be a top priority in any relationship. In a perfect world, you and your partner would both have strong communication skills and know how to connect with each other on a daily basis — even when you disagree.
Unfortunately, everything from different communication styles to varying personalities can make communication in relationships difficult. Thankfully, there are things you can do to enhance your communication skills within your relationship. Doing so will help you feel closer to your partner. You’ll build intimacy, have healthier disagreements, and feel closer than ever.
Let’s cover a few tips you can start putting into practice right away to make talking it out easier than ever.
Practice Active Listening
Communication is a two-way street. You undoubtedly want your partner to listen to you, right? So, make sure you’re giving them the same courtesy. Active listening requires more than just “hearing” your partner. There are a few steps you can take to be a better listener in your relationship.
Start by eliminating distractions. We live in a busy, fast-paced world. So, carving out time to talk to your partner and actually hear what they have to say is important. Don’t scroll through your phone or watch television while they’re trying to tell you something. Give them your full attention, make eye contact, and let them know that whatever they have to say matters to you.
Active listening also involves things like asking questions when you need clarity, and using both verbal and nonverbal cues to let your partner know you’re invested. When you lead your communication efforts with this kind of respect, you’re likely to receive the same, in return.
Be Clear and Concise
Your partner isn’t a mind reader. No matter how long you’ve been together, don’t assume they know what you want or need if you haven’t directly told them.
Focus on using “I” statements as often as possible in your relationship. You and your partner are on the same team, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Letting them know what you’re thinking and feeling, as well as your basic needs, will make it easier for both of you to avoid conflict and improve intimacy.
Using “I” statements can also make it easier to be vulnerable with your partner. Vulnerability builds trust, and can strengthen the foundation of your relationship.
Create Resolution, Not Conflict
You should always be looking for ways to create resolutions with your partner. You’re going to disagree about things — even the happiest and healthiest couples do. But, instead of focusing on conflicts, consider how you can work your way out of them as quickly as possible.
Don’t brush things under the rug or make assumptions about what your partner is thinking without talking to them. Instead, take the time you need to cool down, and have respectful conversations with your partner about things you might disagree on. You likely want the same things, even if you have different approaches.
When you have a resolution-based mindset, you’re more likely to work together to overcome challenges, rather than feel like you’re constantly butting heads.
Stay Mindful
Most people are quick to say they can forgive and forget, but that’s often easier said than done. Bringing up past problems in your relationship, or letting them taint the way you communicate with your partner can create bigger problems.
Choose to be mindful in your communication efforts. Focus on the present, rather than bringing up past hurts. There’s a time and place for things like that, but blindsiding your partner with a comment about things that happened a long time ago isn’t fair to either of you. It’s likely to cause contention and disagreements.
There are so many things you can do to enhance communication skills in your relationship. As long as you’re leading with respect and choosing to listen as often as you speak, you’ll be off to a great start.
Sometimes, partners need help communicating. That’s when a professional can step in and help both of you develop the skills you need to listen and talk to each other effectively. If you believe you need help communicating with your partner, reach out today and schedule a consultation for couples therapy.
