The only sensible answer to this question is the fact that there is still ignorance about therapy — among individuals who could benefit from it as well as the general population. The American Psychological Association reported in 2004 that 30 percent of us are afraid to have others learn if we are seeing a therapist and 20 percent would not seek the help they need because of their own negative feelings about therapy or their fear that others would think badly of them.
The stigma says that those who seek psychological counseling are:
Weak because they can’t solve their own personal problems. Most people suck it up and just get on with life and if they don’t they are just not trying very hard.
Wrong in some way because “normal” people shouldn’t need help to live their lives. Maybe they’re crazy.
Seeking attention because they’re engaging in an unnecessary and weird activity. They must want people to feel sorry for them or at least notice how odd they are.
Unfortunately, such ill-informed beliefs have real-life effects. To start with, there is the pain of having those around us mock or pity or avoid us. If internalized stigma keeps us from seeking help, we suffer unnecessary unhappiness and, in some cases, may decide on suicide as the only solution. Researchers estimate that more than half of people with serious mental illness don’t seek help; in 2002, while launching the New Freedom Commission on Mental Health, President George W. Bush stated that the stigma that surrounds mental illness is the major reason more people don’t get the help they need.
The reality, as many more of us are learning, is that perfectly normal, strong, and mature people seek therapy for a number of very good reasons:
Tough things can happen to anyone. The healthiest of us can be thrown by some of the painful events of living – the death of a beloved friend or family member, financial hardship, a bad breakup, a child with a disability, physical or emotional trauma.
Childhood problems don’t just go away. Some of us enjoy a sunny and well-adjusted childhood. Some survive a more challenging home life – alcoholic parents, an ugly divorce, abuse, bullying, or isolation. The situation usually passes, but the damage embedded during those fragile, formative years doesn’t just vanish.
We’re all flawed in some way. A mental illness or disorder is a health care issue, not a moral one. People who suffer emotional and mental upset are no more to blame for their illness than if they had weak eyes, a broken leg, or diabetes.
If you were suffering the pain of arthritis, you wouldn’t be concerned about the opinions of others. You’d seek help. Even if you were criticized for being fragile or self-indulgent, you’d seek help, knowing that your condition would continue to cause you pain and would probably worsen and affect more of your life. You’d find a doctor with some skill in treating arthritis and honestly explain your symptoms. You’d be given advice for lifestyle changes, possibly medication to ease your condition. You’d feel better and dismiss your critics as ignorant. Perhaps your doctor would put you in touch with other people dealing with arthritis for mutual support. Where’s the stigma in any of that?
Mental and emotional issues deserve the same level of care and the same commitment on the part of sufferers to get treatment. From a simple and short-range course of talk therapy to get through a tough time, to a more complex treatment for a serious condition that may require lifelong monitoring, therapy can greatly improve the quality of your life; there’s no need for anyone who needs therapy to suffer in silence because of fading and uninformed stigma.
