Are You Experiencing Conflict Or Distance in Your Relationship?
Do you feel like your relationship is lacking intimacy and trust?
Has communication diminished and left you feeling constantly misunderstood or ignored?
Perhaps your arguments are becoming more frequent and leading to huge blowouts. It might be that the challenges of raising a family, such as lack of partner support, setting healthy boundaries, or unrealistic expectations regarding the wellbeing of your children are adding stress to your relationship. Or maybe you have opposing financial goals or money problems that are causing tension, resentment, or fear for your economic future together. As a result, you may be considering working with a couples therapist.
Sometimes, You Might Feel Like You Don’t Even Know Your Partner
Are you so physically and emotionally disconnected from your partner that you feel like you’re living with a complete stranger? Perhaps you don’t feel as comfortable with your partner as you once did. Or maybe you’re trying to overcome a major breach of trust, such as infidelity or an emotional affair.
The emotional distress you’re experiencing may be causing you to feel sad, angry, or exhausted. You might be isolating yourself from others or even over-socializing in an attempt to avoid interactions with your partner. You may feel that something is wrong with your relationship and wonder if it’s worth saving.
Do you wish you knew how to improve your relationship so that you and your partner could reconnect and feel happy again? If so, then I encourage you to pursue couples counseling with us. At Boulder Family Therapy, my mission is to help you and your partner deepen your intimacy, strengthen your trust, and rekindle your love for each other.
Every Relationship Has Its Ups And Downs
It’s normal for couples to experience conflict at some point in their journey. However, if you feel that you and your partner have been growing apart and your relationship issues have escalated to the point of unhappiness, you may be in need of more support.
There might be past traumatic experiences that have caused one of you to develop unhealthy emotional patterns, and these patterns could affect how you resolve or react to conflict. You may have experienced abuse or neglect as a child, which could’ve made you distrusting or overly sensitive with your partner. Or maybe you fear that confronting relational issues is going to reveal situations or emotions that could make things worse. These challenges are hard to work through on your own, which is why it’s so important to lean on the expertise and insight of a compassionate professional.
Relationships Change Because People Change
Some couples grow apart because their values, beliefs, interests, or career goals have changed. Two people may enter a partnership on the same page, only for their paths to diverge as time goes on. These incompatibilities can often lead to a loss of love, intimacy issues, or perhaps infidelity, causing turmoil in relationships.
Losing closeness and intimacy with your partner can create an environment that’s not healthy for anyone. You may have sought help in the past, but after not seeing much improvement, perhaps you’ve lost hope for any change in your life or your relationship. It’s challenging to work through conflict in a skilled way on your own. But with the right couples therapist, you can breathe new life into your relationship or marriage.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Rebuild Your Relationship
Not being able to express yourself or your needs without arguing could be signs that something is off in your relationship. However, many times, issues with your partner go beyond simple communication problems. Couples therapy offers a safe and unbiased space where you and your partner can be seen, heard, and understood. A trained couples counselor can help you navigate the roller coaster of emotions you’re going through, kickstarting the healing process of rebuilding your relationship and reconnecting with your partner.
During your first session, my goal will be to get to know you and your partner as individuals and as a couple. This is important not only for building a strong and trusting therapeutic relationship, but for facilitating an environment where you each can communicate your needs in non-threatening ways. If your partner does not want to attend sessions initially, you can still benefit from individual counseling until they’re ready to join. You can encourage them to attend by reassuring them that couples counseling is not about blaming or finger-pointing, but about learning to replace negative communication patterns and creating healthier ways of connecting.
My Approach To Marriage And Couples Counseling
Our goal during therapy will be to provide you with a deeper awareness of your partner and the skills you need to be more supportive, attentive, and capable of growing as a couple and as individuals. I’m a level 2 trained PACT therapist (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy), and my therapy model centers on this approach. The goal of PACT is to help you and your partner practice, in real time, various solutions to your challenges, some of which are listed below:
- Communicating effectively
- Rebuilding trust
- Navigating issues with intimacy
- Understanding how conflict impacts both the mind and body
- Becoming aware of your partner’s pain and sadness
- Developing lasting solutions to conflict
- Finding relief before stress results in an argument
As a PACT specialist, I am confident that I can help you manage and resolve conflicts in a healthier way so that you can restore love and trust in your relationship. PACT sessions may go longer than 50 minutes to allow for in-depth work. My objective is to provide a safe and comfortable space so that you can get down to the real root of your struggles and develop goals that allow you to work on your relationship more effectively.
A commitment to making the relationship work is important for you and your personal growth. In my 20 years’ experience as a therapist, I’ve helped many couples rise above their struggles and create the life they really need and desire. I believe a fulfilling and loving relationship with your partner is possible, and it’s my goal to help you create that.
You May Have Concerns About Marriage And Couples Therapy…
I don’t know if couples counseling can help me.
An experienced couples counselor can help you resolve the sadness, fear, anger, and frustration you’re going through so that you can improve your situation rather than spending so much energy worrying about it. Ignoring issues and hoping that they go away takes an enormous amount of energy. With my help, you’ll have the support and skills needed to encourage positive emotional and behavioral changes that will help enhance your relationship with your partner.
What if my partner doesn’t want to go to sessions with me?
I encourage you to talk to your partner about therapy in a positive, collaborative way, reassuring them that it can give you both the opportunity for healing and growth. Suggest that couples therapy can give them the skills to improve communication so that you can learn to resolve conflict in a healthier way. Ask them to attend a single session with you or call me for a 15-minute consultation to go over the process. And if they decide not to participate or continue therapy, it’s best to respect their decision. You can still attend sessions by yourself, giving us the opportunity to work through your individual struggles within the relationship.
I don’t know if I have the time or the finances to attend therapy.
Couples therapy is a short-term investment of time and money that can benefit your mental well-being and the health of your family indefinitely. If you had an illness or physical injury, you wouldn’t have to justify making time for a doctor’s visit. Why not treat your relational and mental health with the same level of care and concern you would have for your body?
Create The Loving Relationship You Need To Live Your Best Life
If you and your partner are ready to heal your marriage or relationship, I believe that my compassionate approach to couples therapy can provide the support you’re looking for. To get started, please contact me at (303) 475-4625 for a free 30-minute phone consultation or a brief in-person visit at my Boulder location.