Do You Anger Easily, or Are You Struggling in Your Relationships or Career?
- Do you long to have someone to confide in, but fear appearing weak in front of others?
- Are you dissatisfied with your career and/or feel guilty about not being able to provide for your family in the way you think you should?
- Do you feel misunderstood by your spouse, friends, coworkers or family members?
- Are you unhappy in your relationship, fear you might have chosen the wrong partner or think that single life might have been better?
- Do you often experience social anxiety or have difficulty talking with potential romantic partners?
- Do you wish you could accomplish the goals you set out for yourself and feel confident, focused and content in your work, relationships and life?
It can be a frustrating, confusing and stressful experience to battle with anxiety, depression or self-worth issues on your own. Like many other men, you may keep emotions bottled up, fearing that expressing any weakness will make you appear like less of a man. Depression and anxiety in men are more common than you may think, and are often a by-product of our success-driven society. Perhaps you’ve gone to great lengths to provide for your family. You might have worked hard to get to where you are, bought the trophy house and married the partner you thought would make you happy. But, try as you might to achieve the American dream, you may still feel adrift with little sense of meaning or purpose.
Perhaps you’ve started to feel aloof in your relationship with your partner – a stark contrast to the beginning of your relationship, which may have been filled with intense erotic passion and a deep sense of connectedness and love. However, now all you seem to do is argue with your partner. After spending your day with a boss you may hate or coworkers you don’t get along with, your partner might immediately bombard you with requests to do chores. Although you may want to participate, you may also want a moment of relaxation and reprieve. When these personal needs aren’t met, resentment and more fighting likely follows.
Depression and anxiety don’t just affect those in relationships. Single men are equally prone to these emotions. If you’re currently single, you may worry you’re going to be alone for life or fear you’re unlovable. You may also experience social anxiety and act shy and awkward when introducing yourself to potential romantic partners. Perhaps you thought achieving financial success would solve your problem, but even after meeting career goals, you still find yourself without a partner.
By now you may feel melancholic and numb, like a zombie vacantly going through the motions of life. Life wasn’t supposed to be this way, you might think. You may have even become angry with yourself and the world. Perhaps you long to reach out for help, but fear vulnerability. As a result, you may try to handle your pain on your own by self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. However, this only makes the pain worse.
Your Experience Is More Common Than You Think
If you’re feeling isolated and dissatisfied with your life, you’re not alone. Countless modern American men struggle to understand, navigate and express their complex emotions. Furthermore, depression in men is very common and is often due to a lack of life balance. Men can have trouble prioritizing their lives, whether that’s between time spent at work and time spent at home, leading to stress and family conflict.
What’s worse, as a culture we don’t honor men’s relationships with each other, even though these relationships are very important for physical and emotional health. If you do not already have a male confidant who shares and understands your frustrations, men’s counseling can provide you with this type of support.
Men’s Counseling Addresses Issues Specific to Men
Until now you might have dealt with your pain on your own. However, humans are not meant to be alone. We are social creatures who need the kinship and company of others to reach our full potential. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to seek help and that doing so will not make you seem weak. Seeking help actually takes a lot of bravery and emotional resilience. The first and most harrowing step will simply be getting your foot through the door.
As is true for many men, counseling may be the first time you’ve felt heard and understood. I provide a nonjudgmental, supportive, compassionate atmosphere where your masculinity will be appreciated and celebrated, not treated as an object of ridicule. We can also assess your beliefs and fears related to masculinity and examine whether certain traits are really “masculine” or “feminine.” During sessions, we’ll look at any anger you’re experiencing so that you can understand the source of your rage or frustration. Instead of suppressing and managing your anger, I’ll teach you to honor and express the emotion in healthy and productive ways that don’t involve throwing dishes or breaking the coffee table.
Men’s counseling can also help with career-related depression. As your therapist, I’ll help you balance your priorities among your career, personal and family lives, which can help diminish strife your relationship. I’ll encourage you to look within instead of without, drawing confidence from your innate gifts, strengths and talents. You can begin to honor your entire person, not just the number on your paycheck. If social anxiety is a problem, we can work on building self-esteem and learning new communication skills too.
As a therapist, I bring a sense of humor and lightness to my practice, balanced with drive and determination. I will treat you as an equal and will never act as an authority over your experience. I truly believe that with guidance and support, you can achieve greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your work and relationships, begin to enjoy the present moment and move forward with increased meaning, confidence and direction in your life.
Although men’s counseling might seem like a good idea, you may have some initial apprehension and concerns…
Men’s counseling is too expensive.
Therapy can be expensive, but it is a fraction of the cost of a lifetime of regret. Like anything worthwhile in life, emotional health requires some investment. You wouldn’t deny yourself medical treatment because of the expense, so why should seeing a therapist be treated any differently?
I don’t have time to go to men’s counseling.
If you haven’t made yourself a priority in the past, then you need to make yourself a priority now. If you want to make significant changes in your life, then you’ll have to be willing to take an honest look at your schedule.
I tried therapy before and it didn’t work.
If you tried therapy in the past and didn’t find relief, your therapist might have used an approach that wasn’t right for you or he or she wasn’t a good match. In addition, you might have gone to therapy because your spouse, partner or family members wanted you to go. If this was the case, you may not have been fully committed to the experience since it wasn’t your choice to go. By choosing therapy by yourself, for yourself, you can reap the full benefits of the process.
Invest in Your Future
Men’s counseling can provide you with a confidant who has the professional knowledge and experience to help. You can call me at (303) 475-4625 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. In the meantime, please browse my blog where I discuss issues specific to men, along with other mental health issues.