Even though we’re well into the 21st century, there are some societal expectations and old fashioned ideas that remain strong in our country. One of those ideas is that men should be providers for their families.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a man of the house being the breadwinner. It works for many families and it can be a healthy part of family dynamics. But, sometimes, being the provider comes with a lot of pressure — mostly caused by societal norms.
Provider pressure can create a lot of underlying mental health issues in men. It’s important to address these issues as soon as possible, so you can understand how the pressure you’re putting on yourself might be impacting your well-being.
Anxiety
Perhaps the biggest way provider pressure affects men is by causing a lot of extra stress and anxiety. When you know your family depends on your paycheck for basic living needs, it can be stressful to think about.
You might constantly be worried about job security, knowing that if you were to lose your job, things could be very scary for you and those who depend on you. Because we’ve been dealing with uncertain economic times, the state of our economy can also create stress as prices rise, and you want to continue to be able to give your family the things they’re used to.
Low Self-Esteem
When men view themselves as providers, they become more susceptible to self-esteem issues, and even depression. Maybe you aren’t able to succeed in the provider role. Maybe you need your partner to work as well and contribute to the household income. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s not easy for some men to “step down” from the role of provider. It can make them feel weak and inadequate, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
Societal Expectations
Provider pressure isn’t the only societal expectation men tend to face. There are certain expectations of traditional masculinity that can create additional anxiety and depression. For example, some men might avoid seeking medical attention – especially for mental health issues. They might see it as a sign of weakness, or they might worry about taking time away from work and potentially losing their job or position.
Provider pressure tends to stem from a variety of issues. Traditional gender roles certainly play a part, and they matter more to some people than others. Workplace culture and economic uncertainty can also be factors when it comes to how much pressure you’re putting on yourself to bring home a certain amount of money for your family.
Dealing With Provider Pressure
So, what can you do to avoid the pitfalls of provider pressure, even if you want to be the breadwinner of the household?
Start by communicating with your partner. Talk about financial needs as well as personal needs and goals. If you’re going to continue being the sole breadwinner, discuss how they can support you in other ways. Or, maybe it’s time to take the financial burden solely off of your shoulders. Every family is different, but open communication is the key to figuring out what’s best for you and yours.
Take care of yourself every single day. Self-care doesn’t somehow take away from your masculinity. Recognizing your mental health needs makes you strong and self-aware, so do something every day to boost your well-being. That could include prioritizing sleep, exercising, or writing in a journal.
If you find that you’re still struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression, don’t feel like you have to handle it alone. Provider pressure affects men more than some people are willing to admit. It’s okay to break that cycle and reach out for professional help. Don’t hesitate to contact me for a consultation for men’s counseling if you’re ready to take that step.
