Communication is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship. Strong communication can help you and your partner avoid arguments, reduce misunderstandings and assumptions, and build trust and intimacy. Unfortunately, communication doesn’t always come easily for everyone. You and your partner might have different communication styles. Or, you might have a hard time opening up about your needs and wants. Being able to bridge the gap of communication can make a world of difference in your relationship.
The good news? It’s easier than you might think. With that in mind, let’s look at a few tips you can start using right away to improve communication within your relationship.
Practice Active Listening
As the old saying goes, communication is a two-way street. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, so make sure you’re doing that for your partner. The best way to learn more about their needs is to be an active listener. Keep in mind that hearing and listening are two different things. If you really want your partner to know you’re listening, eliminate distractions when they’re talking. Make eye contact, face them directly, and use both verbal and nonverbal responses to assure them you’re paying attention.
When you choose to be an active listener, you’re likely to naturally become more empathetic toward your partner. It will be easier to put yourself in their shoes and understand what they’re dealing with. You’ll learn more than you might have ever thought possible.
Use “I” Statements
When you’re talking about your feelings with your partner, avoid playing the blame game. Making accusatory statements will leave your partner feeling defensive. This can increase the likelihood of an argument.
Instead, use “I” statements to let your partner know what’s going on. Use phrases like ‘I feel,’ ‘I need,’ and ‘I would like you to…'” If there’s something you need or something that’s been on your mind, tell them directly how you feel, rather than letting them know what they’re doing “wrong” or what they should be doing differently.
Lead With Respect
All communication in a relationship should have an undertone of respect. Even if you’re upset with your partner, you can disagree respectfully. Adopting that mindset will make every conversation better. It will remind you that you’re on the same team, even if you don’t always get along.
When you treat your partner with respect, you’re likely to get the same treatment in return. Leading with respect, no matter the circumstances can help to de-escalate things and make it easier to reach decisions and compromises together.
Spend More Time Together
There’s no question that we live in a fast-paced world. Maybe your communication is struggling because you and your partner don’t have a lot of time together. You might be rushed to get to work in the morning, and by the time you’re together at night, you both sit on the couch and watch a show.
While that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, make sure you’re setting aside time regularly to reconnect and talk. Consider having a date night once a week. Eliminate distractions during that time, and focus solely on talking and listening.
Dedicating time to each other accomplishes a few things. First, it lets both of you know that your relationship is a priority, even when things are busy. It also helps to ensure that there are fewer misunderstandings or negative assumptions in the relationship. If there are, you can address them quickly before they turn into disagreements.
If you’re still having trouble improving communication in your relationship, don’t tackle it alone. Reaching out for professional help can make a big difference. Couples therapy can help you understand some of your communication roadblocks while offering effective strategies to help you improve. If you’re interested in learning more, feel free to contact me.
