Anxiety doesn’t discriminate. While men and women might handle it differently, it can impact everyone, and often has different triggers.
For men in relationships, specifically, there are a variety of factors that can cause anxiety. Maybe you didn’t start to struggle with negative, fearful thoughts until your relationship became serious. Now, it feels like it’s taken over everything.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But, it’s important to know where those anxious thoughts are coming from. Let’s take a closer look at some of the common causes of anxiety for men in relationships, and what you can do to start fighting back.
Past Relationship Issues
Even in a healthy relationship, it’s hard to let go of things that happened in the past. If you’ve been through a traumatic relationship experience, those memories tend to linger. They can cause you to be worried about the partnership you’re in now.
For example, maybe you were cheated on, emotionally or physically abused, or your previous partner abandoned you. Any of those experiences would be enough to cause you to worry about being in a committed relationship with someone new.
How You See Yourself
Do you tend to have low self-esteem? Maybe it’s something you’ve struggled with since childhood. Or, maybe one of those negative relationship experiences caused you to doubt your worth.
No matter the reason, low self-esteem can cause a fear of rejection or abandonment in a relationship. You might think you’re not good enough for your partner. So, you’re constantly “waiting” for them to leave or reject you completely.
A fear of abandonment can also stem from attachment issues. A person’s attachment style is typically developed in early childhood. Ideally, everyone would have a secure attachment style thanks to caregivers who provided the right kind of care, support, and attention. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. An insecure attachment style can cause you to become co-dependent. Or, you might worry about the stability of nearly every relationship you’re in.
Social Stigmas
Even in the 21st century, there are plenty of social stigmas surrounding men’s mental health. Many men feel they have to be “tough” or that showing any kind of fear or worry is a sign of weakness. Some might especially feel they have to be strong in relationships to appear more attractive to their partner.
Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, suppressing your emotions or trying to convince yourself that anxiety is a weakness is likely to make things worse. If there are issues in your relationship causing you to feel anxious, it’s essential to address them as soon as possible. Sweeping things under the rug is likely to impact your mental health even more, and that won’t just affect you, but the entire core of your relationship.
It can cause communication issues between you and your partner. Because open communication is so important in a healthy relationship, keeping things to yourself or hiding your emotions is likely to cause harmful assumptions, disagreements, and so much more.
What Can You Do?
If you’re struggling with anxiety in your relationship, the first thing you should do is acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to admit that you’re dealing with fear. Sometimes, simply saying that out loud can make you feel a bit better.
Things like self-care can help with symptom management. Daily exercise, getting enough sleep, and trying stress-reducing activities like mindfulness and meditation will make it easier to muffle the negative thoughts threatening to take over.
The best thing you can do is to work with a mental health professional. Anxiety therapy can help you to better understand the root of your anxiety. From there, you can take active steps toward overcoming it. Don’t let a great relationship fall apart because of anxious thoughts. Reach out today to set up a consultation.
