Attachments are developed very early on in life. The first attachments you form as a child are with your parents or caregivers. Ideally, those are secure attachments that allow you to feel safe, loved, and cared for.
Unfortunately, that isn’t the case for everyone. In cases of neglect, for example, children can develop attachment issues at an early age. Or, those issues could arise later in life due to a harmful relationship or experience.
Attachment has a direct impact on relationships — especially romantic ones. If you deal with negative attachment issues, you could become codependent, have a hard time expressing your emotions, or find it difficult to stay in a committed relationship.
Let’s take a closer look at a body-centered approach to navigating attachment in relationships.
How do Attachment Styles Impact Relationships?
Your attachment style is likely to have a significant impact on your relationships. That includes nearly every relationship in your life, from family members to coworkers. However, if you’re in a romantic partnership, it’s likely to affect that connection the most.
If both partners have a secure attachment, the relationship is likely to be healthier. People with secure attachment styles are often more likely to communicate effectively and express their needs and wants. They also tend to trust more readily and aren’t always looking for the worst-case scenarios in their relationships.
People with negative attachment styles, however, are likely to have problems in their relationships. Anxious attachment styles, for example, can cause an individual to need constant reassurance. They tend to deal with a lot of “what ifs” and fear in relationships. Those with avoidant attachment styles tend to withdraw from conflict, which can often make it difficult for them to communicate and express their needs.
Dealing With Attachment Issues in Relationships
There are many strategies you can put in place that can help with attachment in relationships. Working on communication, respecting one another’s boundaries, and being empathetic toward your partner are all great ways to improve attachment, build trust, and foster a healthy and collaborative partnership.
Of course, these strategies can be easier said than done if you’re struggling with your attachment style. Taking a body-centered approach to navigating attachment might be the best solution.
A Somatic Approach
What exactly does that mean?
Somatic attachment therapy uses the mind-body connection in an effort to heal lingering attachment issues in relationships. Tension can easily become stored in the body. Even if your mind doesn’t fully remember your attachment to your parents, the body tends to hold onto stress, anxiety, and even trauma.
Taking a somatic approach can help you become more aware of certain sensations within the body, so you can recognize what they mean. Understanding the mind-body connection can help you release stored tensions so you can break negative cycles caused by attachment issues.
A body-centered approach will also reassure you and provide a sense of safety while encouraging bonding, healthy boundaries, and stronger communication efforts. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, or avoidant when it comes to your relationships, releasing stored tension within the body can not only help you feel more secure in your attachment now, but it can boost your confidence in developing healthy future relationships.
If you’re not sure whether your attachment style is impacting your relationship or you want to learn more about a body-centered approach, feel free to contact me for more information about couples counseling. It’s never too late to heal from attachment issues, whether they stem from childhood or other past relationships. Your body could be telling you everything you need to know — it’s okay to let go of the tension and trauma that has been impacting your relationships for years.
